Heart's a mess
by notagoodplace4gods
Summary: Robin doesn't mess up, but Dick Grayson does.


Robin doesn't mess up because when he does, things explode, villains escape, people die and Batman blames himself. The "I should have been there with you"s, the "I should have trained your harder"s and the "I shouldn't have taken you"s cut deeply through the sidekick's chest because, despite this being Robin's fuck up, Batman still manages to get the blame and the guilt that follows. Robin is done watching Batman spend night after night at the Batcave, ignoring Alfred's worried attempts to get him to sleep or to eat like any normal person would.

So Robin can't mess up. He pulls all-nighters and he trains harder, he follows orders and lies to Alfred so Bruce won't have to. It's taken a while, but he has developed a system that works.

Robin doesn't mess up, but Dick Grayson does.

Robin wonders if he should tell Kid Flash his identity. He trusts him and the speedster has earned that trust countless times before, so he could. But when Dick Grayson finally tells him, it's for the wrong reasons; it's because he wants to, because it feels nice to have a friend his age who's also a hero, someone who understands it, and because it makes Wally so happy, his entire face brightens up and he looks _pretty_when he smiles.

Robin lies to Kid Flash during the failsafe simulation, he tells him what he wants to hear, fills him with false hope and leads him to his death. Dick Grayson knows it was the right thing to do, he knows that was what Batman was training him for and he _hates it._

Robin doesn't tell Kid Flash about the Mission at Haley's Circus because it's Haley's Circus and Wally knows what it means to him. Dick Grayson calls him because it's Haley's Circus and Wally knows what it means to him.

Robin knows they are going to get through this, he trusts his teammates so he knows rescue is on its way. He's positive it won't take long for them to arrive and that he just needs to keep a concussed Kid Flash awake for a little longer, just until he gets proper treatment and it's going to be okay. Dick Grayson holds him and kisses him, like he always wanted to, because _what if it doesn't?_

It takes him a while, but he eventually realizes he can't be Robin anymore.

Robin is Batman's partner, but the list of things he and Bruce don't see eye to eye just keeps getting longer and they don't seem to function like they used to. It probably has something to do with the fact that he doesn't want to learn any more lessons, that he doesn't want to end up like his mentor.

Robin's his mother little bird and Dick thought he had buried his past, but he didn't. He can't, not until he buries the name.

Or until he passes it on. Jason's a good kid. He's stubborn, angry, defiant, dirty-mouthed, but a good kid, nonetheless. He deserves to learn how to fly, he deserves to learn what it feels like to be Robin. Bruce will be good for him and he'll be good for Bruce and that's what matters. Batman needs a Robin, he doesn't need _him._

He zetas to Central City right after he talks to sky's blue and it's sunny, but it's raining _on his face_and he walks faster. Wally opens the door at the first knock and Dick kisses him, swallowing his surprised "hi" in one go. The redhead freezes, but Dick doesn't stop. He licks Wally's lips and pushes his tongue into Wally's mouth because he can't stop. He already messed everything up when he felt in love with his best friend, years ago, and now there's nowhere to go, but forward.

Wally pulls him in and then pushes him towards the door. Dick's terrified for a moment because maybe it means Wally's mad, that Wally hates him and that they'll never see each other again, but suddenly Wally's there, on top of him and the weight of their two bodies pressed together makes the door slam shut behind them.

He's being kissed back and it's hungry and desperate and it's _Wally_and Dick laughs when they break apart for air.

Wally looks at him like he's grown a second head.

"So, uh, Dick." And then, he laughs. "To what do I own the pleasure of this visit? Is there something you'd like to tell me?"

"Yeah, well, I'm going solo." Dick says and laughs harder at the horrified look on the redhead's face. "Not really solo because I'm still on the team, but I won't be Batman's sidekick anymore."

"Dude, are you okay?" Wally goes from horrified to concerned in less than a second when he notices the wet tracks on his cheeks. "What did Batman do? What did he say to you?"

"Nothing, we're okay, really. We just talked things out and realized it was going to be better this way. It's just... the end of an era, you know? I won't be his sidekick anymore because I won't be by his side, but I'll still be some kind of _awaykick,_as in, I'll be away, but I'll still come to Gotham to kick villains' butts everytime he needs me."

"Come to Gotham? Dude... Are you... Are you moving?"

"Yeah, I mean, I'm planning to. I'm thinking Bluedhaven needs a superhero. I'm also thinking about a new name and a new costume. I want different colours, maybe something blue to go with..."

"Dude." Wally says, eyes wide. It's a lot of new information.

"Also, I'm in love with you." Dick adds and it softens his best friend's features a little. "Maybe I should have started with that."

"Maybe you should have." Wally snorts and is back to looking at him like his two grown heads married and had a third baby head.

"Sorry I keep messing everything up."

"It's okay." Wally says and kisses him again. The gentle pressure of lips on his own makes him smile. "We'll figure everything out together and it's going to be fine."

Robin would question him because there's no way he could ever know if it's going to be fine. He's not a seer, or psychic, he's just a guy who runs really fast and he can't say stuff like that and hope it comes true because that's not how the world works.

But Dick Grayson isn't Robin anymore.


End file.
